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Now that I've brought the “discrediting yourself” issue to your mind's attention, you'll be noticing it when you begin disparaging yourself... That's the first step: To notice... Step 1: Become aware that you're about to say something negative about yourself (internally or externally). Step 2: Stop mid-sentence or mid-thought and ask, “What did I do right?” Step 3: Congratulate yourself! This is a great exercise to strengthen your “believing in yourself” muscle. Why? Because it trains your perception of yourself to “default” to the positive. For example, if your habit right now is to continually “badger” yourself over something you “perceived” that you did wrong, you are automatically programming yourself to default to not believing you can do something. By shifting your response to “What did I do right?” you can re-set your default response to an, “I'm okay feeling.” And when you reinforce it with congratulating yourself, you create a positive mind frame which does two other things...
Now that you're in an "I'm okay" state of mind, your "defenses" are down and your creativity muscle opens up... This puts you in a better place mentally and emotionally to figure out ways to improve.
All of this helps in maintaining positive attitude and staying positive, but more importantly, it's fundamental to developing self esteem. You'll also notice that once you've given “permission to your critic” to talk, he/she will be kinder to you... It's like you gave your “critic” space to be creative and heard and be a part of who you are instead of letting him/her “run the show.” Your critic may put up a fight because he/she isn't "top dog" anymore, but that's okay. Let your critic throw its fit. It'll get over it. You're integrating the different parts of yourself together... To work as an internal team... Keeping balance among them. Who we're trying to coax out more is your cheerleader.
Life asks us to constantly change and adapt. By asking “What did I learn?” you're promoting a positive mindset... Which in turn helps you in maintaining positive attitude... Which in turn helps you in believing in yourself... Which in turns helps you in staying positive! It's a great cycle to get rolling because it will gain momentum. How? Your mind will not only learn to default to the positive, but your body will become addicted to the new thoughts. If you'd like to learn a bit more about the addiction, click here to quickly ready about it. Then hit the back button and I'll be here waiting for you...
So by starting our sequence of questions with “What did I do right,” you're initiating a positive mind and all of its powers and benefits. Now when you ask, “What did I learn?” you continue expanding your neural pathways... Because every time you learn something, your brain responds by building new neural infrastructure to support the learned behavior. Pretty cool, huh? Our brains adapt... No matter how old your are, your mind is very powerful and can be reshaped according to what you feed it. Which means that your brain will continue to adapt as you ask the fourth question...
Again, you're pointing your mind toward looking for and actively searching for the positive, which is building new neural networks to support even more positive thinking and a stronger belief in yourself! In fact, you're actually programming yourself to look for ways to “find evidence” as to why you can believe in yourself. Here's an easy exercise to do: EXERCISE: Once a day (or whenever you need a boost), ask yourself to name five things that you did “right” that day or the previous day... And give yourself permission to find anything at all... Like getting out of bed.... Brushing your teeth... Not yelling at the dog! And be aware of the secondary voice that will come up and say, “Oh, of course you got out of bed... You have to go to work, etc.” Ignore it... Instead, acknowledge that you got out of bed because you choose to go to work because you choose to have enough money to live, because you want to eat... Get the point? Everything is a success in the beginning.... Everything! All of these acknowledgments are self esteem affirmations that shape a more positive picture of yourself... To yourself! And then congratulate yourself... I know it sounds silly, but I'm always catching myself saying, "Good girl, Suzanne." It's automatic for me now. Don't wait for others to acknowledge you... You acknowledge you! After awhile, this process becomes a very fun game. You'll turn it into a treasure hunt to find better and better things to acknowledge that you did so you can congratulate yourself again! Once you're finding really cool things to feel successful about, you can add the other questions I've posed above. In the beginning, though, it's better to just start out with the one question... “What did I do right?” Post it somewhere in your purse, wallet or other private place so you're not answering questions about it... But post it! What did I do right? Believing in yourself is easy when you're congratulating yourself often! Be sure to check out the tips in these staying positive articles: Maintaining Positive Attitude Maintaining positive attitude using these four simple rules keeps you staying positive and always looking on the... Staying Positive Staying positive is easy when you keep it simple. Here are the four simple steps to follow each day... RELATED ARTICLESBenefits of Positive Thinking How to Change Your Beliefs How to Manifest Money The Power of Positive Thinking Return from Believing in Yourself to Staying Positive Return from Believing in Yourself to EFFECTIVE-Positive-Thinking.com Home
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